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The thigh gap hashtag, which originated in after a catwalk show by lingerie giant Victoria's Secret - whose models are famed for their slender figures - was banned on Instagram after experts warned that such an impossible physical 'goal' could, ultimately, cause young people to develop eating disorders. Yet anyone who gets self-worth through random sex with a professional athlete is not exactly MENSA material. The dirty little secret I've discovered is how little men know about sports, since this is what men are supposed to know more about than women. But I was humbled by the honor. For years I was hopelessly mired in phone answering and score taking, watching as others in similar positions moved up and on. At first glance, the picture - posted on the photo-sharing website Instagram - seems a familiar one. We're sitting around the salon one day making bets on when the rest of the country will catch on that Ross Perot is a weasel when someone says he finished ahead of Bush and Clinton in another poll.

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Kids at the tanning salon want to know if I date the players.

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It's just not the way I am made. I think how cool it is to watch a stadium yawn to life. I took some pictures of it so I could try to find out what it was. I said, "Raffy says you want to see me. Then there was the occasion Rangers manager Doug Rader spat corn on me after I asked a dumb question.

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